Power of Relationships

The bible teaches us that iron sharpens iron and so does a man sharpen the countenance of his friend.....

This simple but yet complex biblical term offers important insight to our lives and how they are affected by our relationships and ties with people. So many times we progress in life and move forward while trying to bring those people who knew us back when with us..

We error in this attempt because we fail to realize that everybody can't walk beside you into your destiny. Jesus had more than 12 disciples but only the 12 was chosen to walk personally with him and out of those 12 only a few had life altering revelations from and with him...Sometimes that relationship that you are fighting so hard to keep is the very thing that is blocking your success...

There comes a time in life where you have to cleanse your circle and get rid of dead weight so you won't drown in the waters of life. Dead weight automatically pulls you down and ultimately traps in you a stalled position causing your destiny, dreams and goals to be hindered.

You are having so much hell in your life, in your relationships and on that job because you are fighting to keep that thing that God is trying to get rid of, you pray for God to release whats blocking your blessings and you pray for increase and prosperity but you wanna keep your same position...think about it....Before God blessed Abraham he moved him out of his home land and told him to break all ties with his family and friends because God knew they were a pagan nation and wouldn't understand what He was about to do in Abraham's life and its human nature to fight that which we don't understand.

For the most part when it comes to elevation and progression you become who and what you surround yourself with because iron sharpens iron, if you wanted to sharpen your blade would you use a dull butter knife? No because the dull butter knife will make your blade duller than it was, it will ruin what you are trying to accomplish...So I ask you, who are the butter knives in your life that are ruining what you are trying to accomplish?

You have to make a decision on whats more important, your destiny or your so call relationships with people.  When God was calling me out of the lifestyle of homosexuality, I didn't let my friends who I partied with go, I was going to church and still hanging with them and every time I found myself falling back into sexual sin it was after or during the times I was hanging with them. They were my reminder, those relationships were blocking my deliverance, they were keeping me chained, they weighed me down and help me stagnant in one position, those relationships were toxic to where God was trying to take me. How can God pour new wine in old wine skin?

The bible teaches us that a little leaven leavens the whole lump. Who around you is molding your bread? Who around you is getting in the way of the relationship you desire to have with Jesus? Those relationships you had before you were saved cultivated all evil desires of your flesh, that promoted and celebrated the sin you hate now so if you don't break those ties then they will continue to operate out of the nature in which they were created. If I wanted to be free of the gay lifestyle I had to remove myself from that environment and become a part of an environment that would teach, cultivate and reinforce who I was trying to become. If you wanna be a lawyer you wouldn't go to medical school would you?

I know sex feels great, and it feels great to be loved and to be involved and to not be lonely. Every one loves to be in the in crowd and everyone loves to be tweeted and facebooked the most but I ask you to what end? At what cost are you willing to pay for maintaining relationships that have caused you more pain than prosperity? Is it worth your salvation? Your dreams? Your goals?

If that relationship constantly takes from your life and constantly causes you to stumble then its toxic and you gotta let it go, if he keeps making you turn your back on God and making you have sex with him then you gotta let it go, if he/she plays on your weakness and takes advantage of your sufferings for their personal gain then you gotta let it go, if your relationships don't challenge you to become better, if they don't inspire you to change or empower you to move forward in your destiny then the time is now to come out from among them and be ye separated.

Faith is what Life Isn't....

The bible teaches us that now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen, but our society teaches us that if you don't see it, feel it or have it then it doesn't exist. And there is the conflict that we as believers face. Our spirit desires to have faith because without faith it's impossible to please God but my logical mind is telling me to snap into reality and live off of what I see instead of what He promised...

For the past few weeks I have been going through a financial crisis, I had to pay tuition, rent and utilities and didn't have the money to pay all of what I needed so my phone was disconnected, my gas was turned off and I had no food in the fridge. Initially I was full of faith knowing and believing that no matter what it looks like I was going to stand firm on the word of God. For He said He shall supply all of my needs according to His riches and Glory...

How many of you know that there comes a time when even the strongest of us get weak, as the days passed, and I got tired of the cold showers, no phone access and no food to eat I began to get depressed, I began to feel abandoned, I began to feel like God had let me down.

I know I am not perfect and I know that I am not deserving of His blessings but I thought God an I were in a good place so I began to sulk in my state of despair, I began to access old habits to help me feel good for the moment, but that didn't work, I was still feeling depressed and abandoned...

You know how sometimes life throws you some balls that you just can't dodge, your love one dies, your rent is past due, your husband cheat, your wife cheats, they walked out on you, your children are raising hell, u were laid off, the money didn't come through and you look towards heaven and hear no response to your situation

What do you do when God seemed to have turned a deaf ear to your petitions, What do you do when what you see and what you experience becomes way stronger than what He said and what you know He said?

What do you do when you are to beat up and beat out to get out the bed and face life once again, what do you do when you have exhausted all resources...

Well my friend all we can do is STAND!!! Stand on the word of God and stand by Faith. Faith activates the move of God. Faith controls your Favor. Faith gives you access to your blessings. Faith is what life isn't. Life is hard but Faith is easy, all you have to do is believe. Our problem comes because believing in God's ability to save us requires that we trust Him and because we have been let down by people so many times it is hard for us to Trust God and that wall that we have build to protect us from being hurt again is not only keeping people out but its keeping God out as well. We can't fully activate the kind of faith the move mountains until we activate the kind of trust that gives us confidence that God will move the mountains on our behalf...

You have to understand that the just shall live by faith and not by sight, I had to realize that even though my gas was off I still had water to cleanse myself, even though my phone was off I still had internet access to communicate to people, even though I had no money my tuition was paid and I was able to start my senior year at GSU, even though I had no food at home I was able to eat for free anytime at work, once we stop allowing our sight to control our belief and start allowing our belief to control our sight we will see how God was right there moving on our behave supplying all of our needs we just have to realize and stand firm on the fact that FAITH IS WHAT LIFE ISN'T!!!!!

Truth is.....Love??

After I messed up AGAIN, I asked God why do you forgive me every time I keep messing up and His reply was, "Because I LOVE you!!" As I sat in my bathroom I pondered His response. His reply made me think, it convicted me in such a way that I had to ask myself a tough question and that was, Do I really love God?? Then after that another question manifested in my spirit and that was, Do I know how to Love? 

As I sat back contemplating the answers to these questions, I began to recall scriptures such as if you love me you will keep my commandments and love is patient, love is kind and with love and kindness have I drawn you....

These scriptures repeatedly ran through my mind in an attempt to help me find the answer to my questions and my friend the answer came but it wasn't ideal. The truth is I love God to the best of my ability to love. All this time I have been stuck second guessing my salvation and my deliverance because I found myself repeatedly outside of God's will, I found myself repeatedly not keep his commandments but the truth of the matter is my focus was on the wrong issue. It's not the sin, and it's not just my mind and decision making, it's my ability to love. 

I have allowed the abuse, hurt, pain and afflictions from tainted relationships, friendships and situations harden my heart and obscure my ability to love completely. I have a form of love but I deny the power there of. I haven't been able to totally surrender to Jesus because I'm still in defense mode from the last time I totally surrendered myself to someone. But I have to realize and understand that it was never in God's will for me or you to totally surrender ourselves to no human being, to nothing in flesh. But the plan of our Father was for us to surrender to Him, for the bible declares that every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord.

I don't know whether or not you found yourself in the same situation I found myself in but I know that it is time for us to allow ourselves to be loved by Jesus and allow ourselves to love Him. I know the last time we loved it nearly destroyed us but the bible teaches us to turn the other cheek and remember that was flesh we loved and flesh is always filled with disappointment, destruction and damnation but Jesus is a spirit of eternal glory, love and power. He is love and love exist in, on and through him and the bible declares that while we were yet sinners Jesus died for us, meaning that his love is (NSA) no strings attached, its not contingent on something we do, its limitless, its unconditional and to live without it and to not attempt to reciprocate it to the best of our ability is pure stupidity. 

In order for us to move forward and truly break free from the bondage, sin and chains that keep us in a place of self pity and in a continuous state of back sliding and sin, we have to fully accept and surrender to the love of God. We have to tear down the walls that surround our hearts. God is not out to heart you, or use you. He doesn't want you to pay his bills or cosign for a car or have sex with him. All He wants is you. All He wants is me. He just wants us. Yea us, with out broke down, loud mouth, hard headed, sex having, no tithe paying, back stabbing self.

Yea he wants you in-spite of your sex addiction, in-spite of your abusive behavior, in-spite of your drug and alcohol addiction. He wants you in spite of the adultery, in-spite of the homosexuality, in-spite of the prostitution and children out of wedlock, he wants you just as you are so he can love on you unconditionally and help transform you into the person that you are destined to be. Let's face it who you are right now is not who you want to be, you may laugh it off and joke it away but deep down you know something is missing, deep down you know change is needed, deep down you want to be loved and deep down you want to love back so come with me on this journey, lets take an eternal ride on God's love boat, let's let go and let God!!!

The Essence of True Repentence

Ever found yourself stuck in a never ending cycle of abuse, sin, or just bad decision making? I mean in your hearts of hearts your true desire is to do the right thing. It your heart you wanna say no to sex with her, him or them. In your heart of hearts you wanna say no to the alcohol bottle, the strip club, the crack pipe or to stealing or cheating but you find yourself doing the very thing you desire not to do. I know what this feels like because I have been going through the same old thing my friend. You start to question your deliverance, your salvation and some time your self worth. You start allowing your mistakes to be a mirror image of who you think you are. The bible teaches us in the book of Romans about the apostle pauls' own struggles with his will to do whats right but with actions of wrong doing. He clearly stated that the good that he desires to do he finds himself not doing and the evil thing he desires himself not to do that's what he finds himself doing, then he goes on and say who can save a wretched man like me? And his answer was Jesus!!

I know my friend you feel like you are unsaveable, unstoppable and unreachable. I know what you are going through. I have been saved and writing a book about deliverance but still stuck in the same ole vicious cycle of sexual sin. I felt the disgust, I felt and heard the Holy Spirit within me pleading and crying for me to say no to my flesh and yes to his will but like you I found myself doing that very thing I desired not to do. And with that decision, I was back in a place of depression, back in a place of emotional and spiritual turmoil. I cried out to God to forgive me but I was missing a key component and that was true repentance. And in order for me to understand, keep and write about deliverance I had to understand and come to know true repentance. The revelation and understanding came to me right after I had a sexual encounter which led me to write this blog you are reading. I don't care what you or people may be saying right about now but I am trying to win this race with all that's in me and this may negatively effect book sales but book sales are nothing compared to my breakthrough, my salvation. Book sales are nothing compared to me helping you breakthrough and break out of your mess through the blood of the Lamb and the power of my testimony.

Understand that true repentance means I have turned from my old thinking and behavior patterns that led me to the road of destruction. It doesn't just mean you feel bad about sinning that's the definition of emotionalism. Your tears doesn't equal repentance, your hurt feelings don't equal repentance. Those are just emotional manifestations. And so often we confuse the two. Emotional manifestations manifest based upon how you feel and you always end up feeling the same ole way because even though you feel bad about what you did, you haven't done anything to not do it again. True repentance is that not only do you feel bad but you change your thinking, which changes your behavior, which alters your emotions and allows you to not return back to that state in which you found yourself previously in. The feeling bad or remorseful is a sign of conviction or a moral conscious. That feeling is designed to guide you to repent. It is not repentance in itself. The feelings or emotions that go along with that conviction are just emotional manifestations of your inward convictions or your inward conscious, they are designed to help you understand what your conviction is and sometimes those emotions are confused with condemnation.

But until I understood this I was still stuck doing the same ole thing expecting different results. I was behaving insanely!!! I found myself crying and feeling remorseful for what I had done, but days later back doing the same ole thing and experiencing the same ole emotions. I desired to be free from sexual sin but in my boredom I continued to browse sex sites and sex ads, I wanted to stop drinking, but I continued to go to the liquor store. You may desire to stop cheating on your spouse but you still text that sideline person. My point is that until you and I obtain true repentance there will never be a true change. Understand that if you are reading this and you are a recipient of salvation, your soul is saved, your spirit is born again but your mind is still a mess, your flesh can never be saved, your flesh can never be born again that's why the bible teaches us to walk after the dictates of the spirit and not after the dictates of the flesh. And that's what Jesus meant when he told Nicademus that unless a man be born again of the spirit he can not enter the kingdom of Heaven.

We have to learn to renew our minds by bringing into subjection every thought that rises itself up against that good thing in which we are trying to achieve. It is not God's responsibility to correct your thinking because He has equipped us with the resources to change our thinking but it is up to us to utilize those resources. Instead of me going to sex sites or want ads I need to go to the bible, go some online ministries. Instead of you calling up your sideline when you get lonely, you will call your wife and your husband. You may need to seek counseling, call a friend or just pray. Whatever it is that you need to do to change your thinking you must do in order to obtain the ability to do those things that you desire to do.

Let the word of God be your appetite suppressant, let the word of God be your secret lover, let the word of God become your alcohol bottle, your cigarette, your porno...Let the word of God transform your thinking. That's what I'm doing. Because I don't know about you but I am tired of feeling disgusted after I fall back into sin, I am tired of being absent from God, I am tired of leaving His presence and rejecting His will. Aren't you tired of being used by the devil? Aren't you tired of being used by your own thoughts and acts of unrighteousness? Haven't we gone through enough not to say enough is enough?

I challenge you now, I decree it to be so that from this day forward you and I shall walk in true repentance to live out a lifestyle of true happiness, surrenderence and obedience to the will, ways and word of God!!!

"If you change your thinking, you change your decisions and if you change your decisions you change your outcome"-me

Lazarus get up and walk!!!!!

I don't know who this blog is for on today, but I felt led by the Holy Spirit to speak you up out of your mess so you can be in a place to obtain the title of blessed!! I don't care what the situations looks like, or what the people may have said, it is time for you to get up out of that mess and walk in your destiny. The trials and tribulations may have set out to kill you and some of you are wounded, some of you have been beaten, stabbed, shot and shanked but yet you are still standing. Even though your life stinks of dead men's bones there is still destiny inside of you. It is not time for your funeral, it is not time for you to die, I hear God speaking to me to tell you, LAZARUS COME FORTH OUT OF YOUR GRAVE AND WALK!!!

Walk in your destiny, walk in your calling. I don't care who you have, is or been having sex with, I don't care what you smoke, drink, dip, snuff or inject, your time is now. God loves you just as you are for your bible teaches that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And that for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoseover believes in him shall not perish but shall have ever lasting life. The reason why that gunshot didn't kill you is because you are chosen, the reason why you didn't have a nervous break down is because you are chosen, the reason why you didn't succeed at your suicide attempts is because you are chosen. The drugs couldn't kill you because you are chosen, the lover couldn't stop you because you are chosen. The time is now to come out from among them and be ye separated.  You are the child of the living God, You are a holy nation, a royal priesthood so stop playing with the commoners. Stop destroying your seeds, stop sitting on your destiny, there is a ministry inside of you, a book inside of you, a cd inside of you, a business inside of you and God is saying that now is the time to seek His face, now is the time to get at His feet, now is the time to choose you this day whom you will serve.

 Nothing in your life has worked, friends and family has failed you, and you have even failed yourself. Now I urge you, I dare you, try God. Stop the pity party, Stop the self destruction and come back home. Open up your heart to the one who first loved you. He doesn't require that you pretend to be something that you are not, you don't have to cover up that tattoo, you don't have to hide your battle scars and war wounds, you don't have to hide your habits, addictions and weakness because once you enter into his arms his love, power and anointing will heal your hurts, break your addictions, remove your scars and tend to your war wounds. He is calling you my friend, He is calling you higher, He is calling you out of your grave, he is calling you out of the bed of sin and degradation. He is calling you out of the whore house and into his presence, he is calling you out of the trap and into his presence, he is calling you off the corner and into his courts.

By the anointing of the Holy Ghost I speak a breakthrough over your life, I plead the blood of Jesus over any hindering spirit, anything that is blocking you to receive this word I bind it now and I loose the restoring, transforming redemption power of Jesus Christ and I call you into your destiny. Your time is now my friend. Smile because you are destined for greatness and that greatness is found in your relationship with Christ.

MY OBITUARY

We live a life that creates our identities based upon our affiliations, experiences, relationships and choices. People expect us to behave or conform in certain ways based upon these identities. These expectations shape the perceptions people have about us making recognizing change impossible and even making us believe we can't achieve that change. I myself have struggled and have been struggling with people's acceptance of who I have become in Christ. It seems as if daily I am faced with inquiries from people looking for the Deon they once new. Looking for the Deon who posted on craigslist, looking for the Deon who used to sleep around and perform all types of sexual acts, looking for the Deon who was in the homosexual lifestyle, looking for the Deon who emailed and or texted them the naked photos and etc. Daily I found myself faced with the temptations and expectations to fulfill the duties that that Deon once indulged in and because of this I found myself back on the internet, back on craigslist and back indulging in sexual immorality.

As I began to get frustrated and stress out and even found myself being tempted to give up the fight and just completely go back and just accept the calls and appeals, I heard God speak deep down in my Spirit that it was time for me to write an obituary. At first I was perplexed and confused but in a weird way it made sense to me. See in God's ability to know and see all, He knew that this dilemma would take place not just in my life but in yours as well so that's why he spoke words such as unless a man be born again he can not inherit the kingdom of God. Or words such as you can't put new wine in old wine skin. These words spoken from the heart of our God explicitly implies that in order for us to walk in newness of life their has to be a death to take place. It is the natural order of things. Where death occurs life is always right there to replace that which is dead. Jesus couldn't go into glory until He died on the cross and with his death came the resurrection. Lazarus couldn't have been raised from the dead into a new life unless he had died.

So what am I saying: I am here to declare and proclaim to the world that any pics, emails, sex messages or craigslist post u may have seen, or received from me or about me you should delete them and  throw them away, because that Deon you are looking for that Deon you think you know or knew no longer exists, HE DIED. I don't care if it was last year, last month, last week. or in the last 5 minutes that Deon is DEAD and gone. I'm sorry you missed the funeral but the good news is he has be reborn into me, bad news for you is he is no longer what you used to, he is no longer your sex slave, he is no longer that sex craved homosexual who seeks out men via craigslist, chatlines and etc.: HE IS MINISTER DEON L SANDERS A TRUE PRODUCT OF THE SAVING AND REDEMPTIVE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST, OLD THINGS HAVE BEEN WASHED AWAY AND NOW BEHOLD ALL THINGS ARE NEW, HE IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK "TEARS OF DELIVERANCE" AND HE HAS BEEN SAVED, REDEEMED AND HOLY GHOST FILLED TO SERVE THE KINGDOM OF GOD FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!!!

The Glory of God!!

As I sat in church on Sunday, the power and presence of God fall in the atmosphere like I have never felt in a long time. So as I began to commune with the Father, I asked him for more of His glory and I asked why we as a church haven't experienced the Glory that our bible teaches us about. And He began to take my mind back to all the times I found myself making a decision to fall back into sin. His response was that your flesh can not handle the Glory that I desire to cover you with. He told me if I would just keep myself clean long enough to experience the Glory then my life will never be the same. So I began to ponder on these words spoken in my spirit. The bible teaches us in the book of Genesis that when Moses encountered God for the first time that God was only able to show Moses his side because he couldn't withstand the pure presence of God because flesh can not handle the Glory of God. The Glory will destroy any unclean vessel that comes in contact with it. That's why in the book of exodus the priest died when they touched the ark of the covenant with unclean hands. The ark represented the presence of God. So God began to give me a word for you, His chosen generation. And that word is to cry out and spare not and declare that all His children cleanse themselves of all unrighteousness and uncleanliness. We are living in a time and season of destruction. Sickness and diseases are running rampant, people are dieing at younger ages, we are in a financial crisis and our youth are growing up way too fast so we are in desperate need of the Glory of God. We are lacking in power because we are lacking in holiness. We have been bewitched to think that grace and mercy will continue to carry and cover us while we continue to consciously and deliberately sin and go against the will of God. We have become like the children of Israel after the Glory of God left them wandering in the wilderness. Our prayers are ineffective because our hands are filthy with the residue of sin. We can't utilize our power to speak things into existence because our mouths are filled with desolation. We have lost the access to the Glory of God. And its time for us to get it back. It is time for us to get back at the feet of Jesus and cleanse ourselves. It is time for us to make a sound decision to live holy. It is time to close our bodies to all forms of sin and submit to the righteousness of God. God is so much more than a deliverer of smoking. God is so much more than a light bill payer, God can do so much more than send you a husband or a wife. We server a God who walked on water, raised the dead, healed the deaf, dumb, blind and cripple. We serve a God who shakes all of Heaven who controls legions of angels. We serve a God who parts seas and defy all of nature because He is all things and all things are him, but we can't and have not known him in His fullness because we can't keep ourselves clean long enough to go behind the veil to see his face. We can't stay out of sin long enough to see the Glory of God, we can't stay clean long enough to see the miraculous. Jesus redeemed us and gave us the keys to the Glory of God but we have to clean our feet at the doormat before we go in. The bible teaches us that Jesus is coming back for a church without spot or blemish and the only way to walk in holiness and righteousness is to walk in the Glory of God. Do you want the Glory? Do you wanna feel God like never before? Are you ready to do greater works and you ready for new dimensions and you ready for a higher level of anointing? If you are then join me on this death walk to holiness and make a decision with me to cleanse yourself of all unrighteousness so the Glory of the Lord can be with you, on you and in you!!!! Selah