Truth is.....Love??

After I messed up AGAIN, I asked God why do you forgive me every time I keep messing up and His reply was, "Because I LOVE you!!" As I sat in my bathroom I pondered His response. His reply made me think, it convicted me in such a way that I had to ask myself a tough question and that was, Do I really love God?? Then after that another question manifested in my spirit and that was, Do I know how to Love? 

As I sat back contemplating the answers to these questions, I began to recall scriptures such as if you love me you will keep my commandments and love is patient, love is kind and with love and kindness have I drawn you....

These scriptures repeatedly ran through my mind in an attempt to help me find the answer to my questions and my friend the answer came but it wasn't ideal. The truth is I love God to the best of my ability to love. All this time I have been stuck second guessing my salvation and my deliverance because I found myself repeatedly outside of God's will, I found myself repeatedly not keep his commandments but the truth of the matter is my focus was on the wrong issue. It's not the sin, and it's not just my mind and decision making, it's my ability to love. 

I have allowed the abuse, hurt, pain and afflictions from tainted relationships, friendships and situations harden my heart and obscure my ability to love completely. I have a form of love but I deny the power there of. I haven't been able to totally surrender to Jesus because I'm still in defense mode from the last time I totally surrendered myself to someone. But I have to realize and understand that it was never in God's will for me or you to totally surrender ourselves to no human being, to nothing in flesh. But the plan of our Father was for us to surrender to Him, for the bible declares that every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord.

I don't know whether or not you found yourself in the same situation I found myself in but I know that it is time for us to allow ourselves to be loved by Jesus and allow ourselves to love Him. I know the last time we loved it nearly destroyed us but the bible teaches us to turn the other cheek and remember that was flesh we loved and flesh is always filled with disappointment, destruction and damnation but Jesus is a spirit of eternal glory, love and power. He is love and love exist in, on and through him and the bible declares that while we were yet sinners Jesus died for us, meaning that his love is (NSA) no strings attached, its not contingent on something we do, its limitless, its unconditional and to live without it and to not attempt to reciprocate it to the best of our ability is pure stupidity. 

In order for us to move forward and truly break free from the bondage, sin and chains that keep us in a place of self pity and in a continuous state of back sliding and sin, we have to fully accept and surrender to the love of God. We have to tear down the walls that surround our hearts. God is not out to heart you, or use you. He doesn't want you to pay his bills or cosign for a car or have sex with him. All He wants is you. All He wants is me. He just wants us. Yea us, with out broke down, loud mouth, hard headed, sex having, no tithe paying, back stabbing self.

Yea he wants you in-spite of your sex addiction, in-spite of your abusive behavior, in-spite of your drug and alcohol addiction. He wants you in spite of the adultery, in-spite of the homosexuality, in-spite of the prostitution and children out of wedlock, he wants you just as you are so he can love on you unconditionally and help transform you into the person that you are destined to be. Let's face it who you are right now is not who you want to be, you may laugh it off and joke it away but deep down you know something is missing, deep down you know change is needed, deep down you want to be loved and deep down you want to love back so come with me on this journey, lets take an eternal ride on God's love boat, let's let go and let God!!!