"Living but Dying"

I was very hesitant to write this blog because once again I would be allowing myself to become transparent to all of you. For fear of being a letdown to you guys I hesitated, then I remembered my promise to my loyal readers and my brothers and sisters in Christ and that is to always be transparent so that my shortcomings can be used as tools of your deliverance and weapons in your battles to overcome.  

As I lay there, violated by my weakness to allow myself to go back to sexual sin, my memories began to flood my mind and my emotions become more and more salient. While he was touching me, I felt violated, I felt uncomfortable but I didn’t ask him to stop. As his advances intensified my disgust grew and my spirit grieved and my mind and spirit cried out stop but I never told him to. I laid there, I allowed him to continue and continue and when it was over I was paralyzed. The condemnation set in. The disappointment set in. The disgust set in. As he sat across from me witnessing my plethora of emotions and my state of disgust, foolishly he asked was I ok, like it was something he had done.

I thought to myself, no it’s all on me. This is my fight that I forfeited. This is my rope that I hung myself with. I had the chance to erase the text. I had the chance to not resend my address. I had the chance to not open the door and to just say no but I didn’t.

I am saved, delivered, set free and an uprising influential author, I write about deliverance, I tweet and post statuses about deliverance and here I am laying in my bed of sin. Here I am back to where I started, but how.  How did this happen to me?

Then reluctant, naked and ashamed, I picked myself up and embarrassingly stumbled back into the arms of Jesus. Once again I was asking for forgiveness for something I had been delivered and set free from. I truly felt like a dog going back to his own vomit.  Then I realized I am empty. There is no residue left. I have no gas in the tank. I am spiritually on “E”.

See my friends in the natural we are forever accessing knowledge through our experiences and teachings. That knowledge fuels our decision making and behavior. What we read, see and experience create how we act, react and live in our society. See I was feeding my flesh.  My humanly nature was being edified and taken care of but I was starving my spirit. I wasn’t reading my bible. Because of work I had been missing church, missing my weekly feeding. I wasn’t praying like before, missing my communion with God, furthering myself from His presence and starving myself spiritually all the while indulging myself naturally. 

 Understand that our spiritual flesh controls our natural flesh and that our spiritual flesh operates off of the words of this world. The concepts, ideas, beliefs and attitudes we are socialized to have gives our spiritual flesh the power it needs to control us. For example, if you see or read about some type of sexual encounter, it fuels your spiritual flesh and a thought is formulated in your mind, then that thought is then acted out and manifested through your natural flesh. This same model applies to the Spirit of God that lives within you and the word of God.

The Spirit of God doesn’t move based upon your needs and what you say, the Spirit of God moves to bring to manifestation what the word of God has professed. In the book of Genesis your bible said that the Spirit of the Lord moved across the waters and then God spoke and there was. See the Spirit of God is always moving and ready to operate in according to what the word commands. It wasn’t until God spoke that things were formed.  It wasn’t until God said let us make man in our own image that the Spirit of God reacted and created the breathe of life that was used to create man. See man wasn’t created in the image of God through clay or dirt. Because God isn’t made of clay or dirt, God isn’t flesh. Man’s spirit is the image of God. The clay or dirt was just the vessel used to house the Spirit of God so that God could be able to send Jesus to save the world. See God is all knowing, he is omniscient and omnipresent. This means He knew Adam would fall and bring damnation to our species. See God had already had a plan to send Jesus, that’s why and how He orchestrated the lineage of Christ.

Your bible says greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. That scripture means that the Spirit of God that lives within you has the capacity and authority that supercedes anything that is wordly or created by the prince of the air or your spiritual flesh. With this revelation I realized my issue was that it wasn’t any word in me to activate the Spirit of God within me.

See I was lacking intimacy with the Father; he had not been able to pour into my spirit. He had not been able to strengthen me; He had not been able to make me sensitive to His moves and His ways of escape. I was so caught up with the things of this world. I was so caught up with my fleshly desires. When I say fleshly desires I am not always talking about things we view as sinful or evil. Fleshly desires can be obtaining more money or status, obtaining an education, a relationship, a family or a hobby. See the way we think, react and live in this natural world all initially come from our fleshly desires.

I had been feeding my flesh, giving it the word of the world, which activated my appetites and my desires. So when the opportunity presented itself, I fell for it. It was because I had no word in me to activate the Spirit of God within me, to lift up the standard against the enemy to keep me free from sin. See you can’t fight flesh with flesh. You can’t overcome your sinful desires through your own will because your own will comes from your natural manifestations of your fleshly desires. So you have to allow the Spirit of God to speak to your spiritual flesh and bring it under subjection. This happens by becoming one with the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God isn’t activated by your words or instructions; the Spirit of God brings to pass what the word of God decrees and declares. So in order for us to be victorious we need to fuel ourselves with the word of the living God so that when the tempter comes the Spirit of the Lord will be able to operate on our behalf and lift up a standard against him. 

The Power of the Butterfly Effect

The life of a Butterfly provides deep revelational insight into the life of a believer. I believe that God created certain aspects of nature to give us natural knowledge that unlocks spiritual truths about who we are in God.  Sometimes spiritual things are too deep for us to digest because we are still on milk when God is trying to give us meat.  As I was sitting at the table and talking with my spiritual parents about some of my trials my spiritual mother mentioned something about the butterfly effect.

See the butterfly in all its beauty, uniqueness and majesty doesn’t start of so majestic. In fact, the butterfly starts off as a slimy, slow, inadequate, weak caterpillar that is at the beckon of nature’s call. The caterpillar’s life is always in danger; it never has a moment without some type of distress because it’s weak, young and vulnerable. But then something magnificent happens. The season changes and the timing is just right and the caterpillar finds itself wrapped in a cocoon of metamorphosis where it is being transformed into the creature it was destined to become.

Throughout all the bumps in the road, the unstableness of the wind, the rainy days, and the cold nights nothing could have stopped the caterpillar’s season of metamorphosis to come. It is its destiny to be transformed into something greater.

So it is in the natural, it is in the spiritual realm as well. In your bible, Jesus told Nicodemus unless a man is born again he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. Meaning unless a man is transformed from his old state and reborn into his new state then he cannot be in right relationship with the Father and consequently cannot be transformed into who he was destined to become.

See when God saved you it was your season, your timing to be wrapped in the cocoon called the Holy Spirit. Inside that wrapping, the Holy Spirit initiated your metamorphosis; He changed your mindset, your behavior, your thought process, and your desires. He gave you strength where you were weak and covered you were you were naked and vulnerable. Yes you started off like the slimy caterpillar, held captive by the dictates of the world, your environment and circumstances but your season came.

See the bible says that a man must be born of water and of the Spirit.  To be born of water means to be born from your mother’s womb (naturally). Before any child is born there is a breaking of water.  To be born of the Spirit means to be reborn by the metamorphosis and transforming power of the Holy Spirit. See at salvation is where you were wrapped in your cocoon and then in due time, the walls of your cocoon cracked and emerged was a totally different entity. Your look was different, your smell was different, and your genetic makeup was different. No longer were you weak, frail, ugly and vulnerable. You emerged a new creature in Christ, old things were passed away and all things had become new.

When the butterfly first emerges from the cocoon it has to get used to its new identity, it has to learn to operate in its new destiny. When it attempts to fly, it’s take off is a little shaky, it’s strength is a little limited but as it goes through the process of understanding who it is, it gains its strength, it gains its momentum and finally it stretches it’s wings and illuminated by the sun, its’ marvelous new identity is seen by all of nature.

See when you first stepped out of your cocoon. You were shocked at the new you, you were a little shaky, a little limited in power but as you went and go through the processes of life and build your momentum in the things of God you became and become more and more confident in who you are and you begin to stretch your wings and eventually, the glory of who you have become will be illuminated by the Son of the living God (Jesus) and can be seen by all of nature and that my friend is the Power of the Butterfly Effect!!!!

The Power of Prayer

For the bible says that will prayer let your request be made unto the Lord and that the effectual prayers of the righteous achieve much.

There is indeed pure power on the pit of your prayer. Prayer was given to us by our Father so that we could have a direct line of communication to commune with him. Prayer goes across denominations, racial lines and geographical regions to meet the need of the person giving intercession. Prayer can go where your phone can't reach, where your car can't drive. Prayer can do what your money can't and your influence won't. Prayer is the supernatural weapon functioning out of the will and submission of our supernatural spirits, through our natural vessels, to bring about a supernatural change from the spirit realm which effects and initiates change in the natural.

Prayer isn't just a ritualistic thing that religious people do. Prayer is your life line, your survival kit, it's your first-aid. Many of us only use it when we find ourselves in life threatening and freedom taking situations. We only use prayer as a way to petition God for something when we are in need ,but prayer is so much more than a means of petioning or requesting a blessing. Prayer to God is equivalent to a facebook status, a tweet, a text message, a phone call or an email, it is a way for you and I to talk to our Father and tell Him all about what's been going on and to also find out what's going on in His realm as well.

Prayer, when it's done right, and effectively, has the power to transform, recreate, reform and renew any person, place or thing. Prayer is the power behind your protection, your purpose, your prosperity and your power. It was prayer that gave Jesus the extra strength to make it to the cross, it was prayer that allowed God to go into the fiery furnace with the three Hebrew boys, it was prayer that set Paul and Silas free. It was prayer from the mouth of the Prophet Elijah that shut and opened the heavens from raining. It was prayer that covered the houses of the children of Israel when the angel of death came by on it's mission.

Prayer is so powerful and potent that the disciples asked Jesus how do we prayer and His response was simple but yet it has been taken out of context. When Jesus replied with the Lord's Prayer His plan wasn't for us to memorize the words verbatim but to understand the strategy behind each word. The disciples asked HOW TO PRAY, NOT WHAT TO PRAY.......

The revelation behind that is to first give thanks and honor to God your Father, praise and worship Him for who He is to you, then ask for grace and mercy and forgiveness of what you have done against His will, then make your request be made according to the will of God which means you pray with the power of His will and Word behind you because the enemy doesn't run or retreat based upon your words but he recognizes the words of the Living God.  For the bible says that when the enemy comes in like a flood the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him. The Spirit of the Lord is His Word. Lastly seal it, stamp it and mail it in the name of Jesus for Jesus said whatsoever you ask in My name my Father in heaven is just to honor it.

The bible teaches us that the power of life and death are in the tongue and that's because the power of prayer lies in your tongue. All the power you need to defeat the enemy is already in you. Your anointing is activated by the words you speak, God told Ezekiel to speak to the dry bones and once he spoke they were revived.

So my brothers and sisters your answers to your prayers are ironically in your prayers!!!!!

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The Power to be Pre-Destined!!!!

Jeremiah 1:5 states: Before I formed thee in thy mother's womb I predestined or foreknew you and before you were born I separated you, consecrated and appointed you to be a prophet to the nations. 

These words of the Lord was spoken to the young but anointed prophet Jeremiah. God spoke these words to the prophet to encourage him in his time of disbelief of his calling. Jeremiah was young, unlearned and he felt that he wasn't ready or worthy to be a prophet to the nations and God spoke these words to empower the prophet to walk in his calling.

For this same purpose, I have been commissioned to help you gain the confidence and authority to walk in your calling in spite of your perceived shortcomings. Let me start by being transparent. I just recently released my new book, "Tears of Deliverance". Prior to the release God showed me how successful the book will be and how He will utilize that success to bring change to this hurting nation. So a few days ago my publisher informed me that I had only sold 6 copies. Immediately my heart dropped, my spirit fell and my mind began to think that maybe because of my struggle with doing the right things I have missed what God had promised or I was unworthy of the success that was promised. I began to think that because of who I was it was making the promised of God invalid. 

I walked in this way of thinking for weeks, feeling defeated and depressed. Then finally I heard God speak in my spirit and He told me that I was predestined for greatness. He said that when He called me into salvation and deliverance He foreknew me and that He has called me and equipped me to be who He has called me to be. 

See my friend regardless of your flaws your future has already been created. To be predestined means that before you were created your destiny, your purpose and your place in life was created first so that nothing you do after your birth could destroy what you were destined to become. That's why the bible says that ALL things work together for the good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. See God is not a man that He should lie and neither is He son of man that He shall repent and whatever He said shall come to pass because He is creativity, He is existence, His essence is reality.

So when God called you to be successful, to be a prophet, a minister, a teacher, an author, an artist, a entertainer, a business owner He created the position, the finances, the institutions and etc before He created you. He created these things first because He knew He would create you in such a unique way that you are the only person to occupy that position. Let me back this us with scripture. The bible says in the book of Genesis that AFTER God created the earth, and the oceans and all the animals and living things, He then created man and then gave man dominion over ALL the earth and the living things. See God created man's destiny which is dominion over the earth and all living things before He created man. He created Man in such a unique way that only man has the power and purpose to operate in destiny of dominion. 

Another example of this is at the fall of man God went into the future and created the purpose and position of Jesus Christ. He created all the people, places and things that were needed to birth out Jesus into His destiny. He created Mary and Joseph, Elizabeth (John the Baptist's mother) and the inn keeper 3 wise men and King Herod. Because all these people were a key part of Jesus's destiny they all were created before Jesus was conceived in Mary's womb. Jesus was uniquely formed in human flesh to fit in His destiny in such a unique way that He alone was only able to access this position of purpose. 

With this revelation we can boldly walk in the power of being pre-destined. The fact that you struggle with sexual sin, homosexuality, drugs, alcohols doesn't mean your future is destroyed, it doesn't mean you are invalidating your destiny. It's the exact opposite. You are becoming purposed and chosen to occupy your position of purpose. Your struggles are systematically teaching you Godly characteristics to occupy your Godly destiny.  You can't legally operate in an area unless you have mastered or conquered that area. While Jesus was on earth the bible says that He was tempted in all areas of sin so that through Him we have power over sin and it's temptations. Because he conquered death, hell and the grave He now has power over death, hell and the grave. Your bible says that He went down to hell and ministered to the lost souls and took back the keys to death, hell and the grave giving him authority over each entity. 

So your situations as you conquer them you gain access of authority to those situations. See you couldn't minister to a sexually broken person if you have not been sexually broken. You couldn't minister to a drug addict, if you have never been addicted. You couldn't encourage and provide hope for a person struggling with poverty if you have never been broke. 

All our struggles are strategically setting us up to operate effectively in our predestined positions. So now I am not concerned about book sales and yes I have my struggles and yes sometimes I defeat temptation and sometimes it defeats me but I never give up, I keep getting back up and I keep allowing my mistakes to mold me into the person that God has predestined me to be.

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The Faithfulness of God

" God is not a man that He shall lie, neither is He son of man that he shall repent"

I heard this scripture repeated so much in my life but it never really made since to me until I began to see and understand the faithfulness of God. See often times in life we have been conditioned to think that no one can be trusted and no can be counted on and expected to keep their word. So it makes it hard for us to completely trust and believe God for what he spoke over our lives because we hold God to the same law we hold man based upon our past events.

We are so used to people lying and using us that when God speaks it's difficult for us to operate out of faith and believe what He said because our conditioned flesh tells us we need to protect ourselves and just do what we have to do to make sure we are ok.

I have learned that the hardest requirement on the christian journey is trusting God and believing in His faithfulness. For so long I struggled with many addiction such as homosexuality, masturbation and etc. And I remember after I allowed God to save my soul he spoke to me through a vision. I had a dream that I was sitting on Oprah's stage being interviewed by her about the best selling book I had written, and in the dream the book she held in her had was called "Tears of Deliverance", in the audience I saw my wife and I heard her speak about our ministry and our children. At this moment in my life I was still sexually involved with guys and my self esteem was so low that I couldn't imagine that this vision was factual or it would come to pass. I mean I was no where near of becoming the man I saw in the vision. 

Then God showed me the scripture from the prophet Habakkuk that read, "write the vision and make it plain, so that he that read it may run with it, tho it tarries, in due season it shall come to pass". It was so hard for me to trust God and believe Him when He said He would deliver me and set me free. It was hard receiving a dream that showed me out of the bondage of homosexuality. It was hard believing that one day I would be free from the chains of abuse and child hood molestation. 

For the first time in my life I was challenged with believing God for what He said versus believing what I saw...as time went on God began to show himself faithful in my life by answering small prayers and then answering prayers that required a little more faith than others. I then began to believe God for his faithfulness. I began to expect God to move on my behave, I started operating out of a level of faith that literally changed my atmosphere. In the midst of this I was still struggling with homosexuality and that dream that God had given me still was stuck on replay in my mind and my spirit. 

Right when I was just about to give up on being delivered from homosexuality, I remember having a sexual encounter with my cousin and the conviction and shame that I felt afterwards sent me into this state of weaping and sobbing. I remembered getting out some paper and I wrote, " Oh that my head maybe a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears, I will weep, mourn, cry and lament for our sins we must repent" This scripture from the book of Jeremiah continually rose up in my spirit and as I began to write my feelings and emotions down on paper, when I was done I had written the first part of the first chapter in my book. 

At that moment I remembered the vision, I remembered the promise and then I gained a revelation on why God gave me the vision when I was sooooo far away from the manifestation and it was so I could have the strength to keep fighting in the midst of the storms, in the midst of the mistakes. He gave me the knowledge I needed to keep from perishing in the battle. That was back in 2003 and now it is pre 2012 and my book entitled, "Tears of Deliverance" have been released. I have been delivered and set free from the bondage of sexual sin, homosexuality, masturbation and etc. I have been healed from the hurts of childhood molestation and it has all been because of the faithfulness of God.

God has done just what He said He would do. He told me I would tell my story to the nations to bring about a change in people lives who have struggled and is struggling just as I was. God promised to heal, deliver and set me free and because of His faithfulness it is done.

It has nothing to do with who we are or what we do but it has everything to do with who God is. So I don;t care what it is you have been believing God for you better be expecting it to happen. Because God is not a respect a person, if He made it happen for me, it will definetly make it happen for you. Just trust God, don't give up on God because He hasn't gave up on you and know that our God is more than able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think. Now write your vision and make it plain, so he that read it may run with it and though it tarries, wait for it, for in due season it shall come to pass and that is what thus sayeth the Lord!!!!!!

Order my book, "Tears of Deliverance" by clicking on the link below

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Tears of Deliverance: From Homosexuality to Holiness

As I sit here scared, nervous and partially ashamed all I can think about is how God is going to use this book to unlock your deliverance and release the blueprint to your destiny just as He has done for me. I know you may be wondering whether or not this is just another inspirational authored just for monetary purposes only. 

But I am here to tell you that my goals are not sales but salvation. My goals are not royalties but resurrection, restoration and relationship. This book is God’s instrument of Glory. This book was birthed out because God heard your prayers just like He heard the prayers of the children of Israel and He sent them Moses. He saw your tears. He has heard your cries. Now He has sent you a rhema word tailor made for you and your situation. This book was not created for a price but for a purpose and one of those purposes is to give you access to the deepest most darkest parts of my life so you can know that you are not alone. I feel your pain, I feel your insecurities, I feel your abuse, I feel your struggles and afflictions, and I to have carried your burdens. 

So I charge you to take this journey with me and to allow the words of this book to redefine the definition of your tears. Let this book transform your tears of hurt and your tears of pain into your Tears of Deliverance. This book is not designed to condemn but rather to convince you that God loves you and that He has made available the power you need to be delivered.  You just have to tap into and then walk in it. I know it’s been a lonely road, and the church has isolated you and society has labeled and scorned you. But God never gave up on you, for the bible teaches us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. 

You are NOT an abomination, you are NOT a lost cause, you are NOT the reason why God destroyed Sodom and Gomorra but YOU are the reason why God sent his only begotten Son to die upon the cross and to be rose on the third day. He created salvation for YOU; he orchestrated grace and mercy for YOU. So come boldly to his throne and lay at his feet.  Come with me on this walk.  Open up your mind, heart and soul and allow the blood of the lamb and the power of this testimony transform you into more than a conqueror.

This book depicts the power and love of God working in a miraculous way to bring about a change and to heal the brokenness I felt as a result of being sexually and physically abused as a child...

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Stop Hiding from God

Genesis 3:7-10 depicts the aftermath of the fall of man. In this passage Adam and Eve have already eaten of the fruit from the tree of life that God has forbidden them to eat and their nakedness was revealed unto them and after hearing the voice of the Lord calling for them they covered themselves with self made materials to hide their nakedness from God.

This passage of scripture is full of rich revelation and prophetic insight about the relationship between us and God after our fall from glory. See so many times in life we are taught and conditioned to hide our flaws from people and to take refuge in our strengths and be shamed of our weaknesses. 

Due to this form of thinking it makes it difficult to accept the glory and grace of God when we enter into a relationship with Jesus by way of His sacrifice. It has been my personal experience that the biggest mistakes made in ministry and in personal walks with God is that we always hide ourselves from God,  we try and hide the sins that so easily besets us, we try and hide our lusts and our addictions. We are taught to look, act and dress holy but in our hearts and minds we are full of dead men's bones.

We have a form of Godliness but are denying the power thereof. And this makes us ineffective in bringing deliverance, healing, restoration and even salvation to God's people. The biggest mistake that Adam and Eve did was hide themselves from God. They covered themselves with man made clothes to hide their nakedness from God who has and still has the power to heal, fix and change any are of your life that is flawed. 

In this passage nakedness symbolizes their weakness, their vulnerabilities, their issues, their sins, their stuff. Just as it was back then so it is today. We as modern day believers hide our nakedness from God. We hide them behind titles, behind degrees, behind hats, behind tailored made suits and gator boots. We hide them behind mega churches and fancy pulpits. We are operating out of the influence of personality charisma instead of the influence of the Holy Spirit. 

We have become walking corpses in the spiritual realm. Because we are spiritually dying due to our lack of transparency. It's not until you confess your sins that salvation is obtained and through salvation you gain access to the power and workings of the Holy Spirit. After this you have to submit to the will of God. You have to lay it all out and allow God to pour into your Spirit. The problem is instead of laying our issues and sins at the feet of Jesus, we cover them up and pretend to be okay. We replace our issues with religion and think we have mastered the art of fooling God. We have erred in our thinking. For the bible declares that God knows the hearts of men and he has numbered every hair on your head.

So if he knows how many hair strands you have then he knows you have issues with homosexuality, he knows you have a sex addiction, he knows you are a lier, he knows you struggle with anger and drug addiction that's why He has been calling out to you, that's why He has been knocking at your door to give you the chance to ask for His help, to ask for His hand. For the bible declares that if a man seek he shall find, ask and he shall have and knock and the door shall be open unto him. God has never been a God of hostile take over. He will not force you to come to Him, He will not make you ask for His help. He gives you free will to choose you this day whom you will serve.

That's why transparency is so important because transparency is the tool to your transformation. It is not until you become transparent about your issues that you can start to receive help. Let me put this in natural terms. Unless a sick persons goes to the doctor and tell him their symptoms, the doctor will never have access to provide them with the resources needed to heal them. See the doctor has already been qualified and skilled to have the resources to heal your sickness but he can not give those resources to you until you ask for them. 

Like natural like spiritual. Jesus because of the cross has already gained authority and power and position to give you the resources needed to become healed but He can not give you those resources unless you come to him and ask for them. If you don't ask God to heal you, you won't ever be healed. If you don't ask God to save you, you won't ever be saved. If you don't ask God to deliver you you won't ever be delivered. 

See asking is very important because in asking you have to confess and admit that you have an issue that needs to be taken care of. Your asking shows and tells God that you need and trust Him enough to deal with your issues. It wasn't until I started telling God that my same sex attraction was taking control of my life again that I began to gain power, It wasn't until I realized that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the power of our testimony that I started to become transparent before God and man.

My transparency allows you to see the power of God work in my life and allows God to work in my life to show you that He has the power to heal, save and set the captives free. 

The bible tells us we are to be a light unto the world and our transparency is that light, through our transparency people are able to see Jesus, the bible says that He is strong in our weakness. So the more we are transparent the more the strength of Jesus is revealed and the more Glory our Father receives!!!!